


Remember Me

by Pinx_B



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Angst, F/F, Introspection, POV Second Person, Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 00:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinx_B/pseuds/Pinx_B
Summary: Yuyuko uncovers the final moments of her life which lead to some painful truths and closure for herself & Yukari..





	Remember Me

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

You don't realise that your hands are shaking until Yukari covers them with her own. 

The letter is trembling beneath your fragile fingertips, each word that you read sinking into your skin and travelling up to your mind. 

It wasn't like you needed the reminder of what was just read to be pushed into your memory as this was something you weren't going to forget anytime soon.

Unlike everything else. 

Everything else you are _now_ reminded of. 

From a version of you that had blood flowing through her veins, a version that was warm to touch & a version that endured so much pain. 

The situation felt surreal. 

But it was very much a reality when you glance at your lover's eyes that are filled with worry and patience. 

Yukari had lived and experienced the life of the girl who wrote the letter in your hands. 

She experienced her to the fullest only for the cruelties of your untamed abilities to force her to take her own life. 

To save others, to save Yukari. 

All that was left of her existence was this letter. 

Her last words and thoughts, all sprawled out on the single sheet of parchment without knowing if they would ever be read. 

There was a twisted sense of irony and you want to chuckle, laugh, smile; but you can't seem to move your lips to do any of these things. 

All they've been doing since you accidentally stumbled on it was remain tight-lipped in order to not cry. 

That was how Yukari and Youmu found you. 

Body against the bookshelf, eyes empty and tear filled, hands tentatively holding the envelope. 

You recognized the writing, her writing, _your_ writing. 

Beautifully crafted with elegance that seemed to be with you since before you died. 

 

\- **_To whomever may have the unfortunate luck of being exposed to my ramblings_** - 

 

The humour was palpable, it was something you would have written yourself. 

That was what scared you when finding the letter; that it was _you_ who wrote this. 

It was this sharp thought which rendered you unable to move from the dredge of darkness that cemented you to the floor till Yukari came. 

Hearing Yukari and Youmu's voice didn't pull you out of your staring contest with the letter; it was luring you in, daring you to unleash its contents and change things in the next blink of your pink eyes. 

Something that you had to do for everyone's sake. 

There was no regret, just more questions. 

 

After a flutter of your eyelids to clear away the new bout of tears, you turn your face and lean your forehead against Yukari's cheek. Her hands untangle from yours to reach for your hair as the other rests on your arm, stroking it up & down to sooth you. You can feel the remnants of her tears on her cheek which makes you rub against her face to comfort her. The feeling of her gentle heartbeat can be heard in the silence of the room, that gentle thud melding beautifully with your sallow breathing. 

As much as this was mortifying for you to see, you knew just how incomprehensible this must've been for Yukari. 

For her to experience the last thoughts of the person she loved being spoken by the _same_ person. 

You opened the letter and read it whilst her arms were wrapped around your body, protecting you from the harsh realities of the situation. 

That at one point, there existed another Yuyuko Saigyouji. 

But it wasn't another you, she was _you_. 

That alone was enough to make you shiver the way you did which increased the worry Yukari was exuding for you. 

She had to pull you away from reading it for the fifth time in a row which led to the position you were both in now. 

Yukari whispers in your ear, calming your world that was rocked by a message from beyond the grave, the letter still clasped between your trembling fingers that were hovering above the table.

Your other palm wraps itself behind Yukari's neck to pull her in closer, to let her know that she doesn't have to conceal whatever she is feeling either, that you're in this together. 

No matter what consequences are reignited by finding _her_ last words, you won't let that distort the path you and Yukari have been on for centuries. 

If anything, you hope to take the wise words of a girl who had much insight into the world, both positive & negative and apply it to what you have now. 

You couldn't allow your life to return to what it was. 

Too much blood had been shed.

Too many tears had been let loose.

Too many moments were suffocated in a thicket of toxic butterflies. 

There was enough grief & pain felt in the past and to allow it to consume you both again would be wasteful. 

That was the point of her writing this; highlighting how much happiness she had felt to shield her from the emptiness that her abilities threw her into. 

Happiness that Yukari alone was responsible for. 

Written in a way that adequately expressed how loved Yukari was by _her_. 

 

_To the eyes of those who stumble upon this letter._

_My final thoughts, if they are ever found._

_It is an odd introduction, however, this is a fairly odd situation. I'm writing this as I enjoy my last cup of tea, sat outside as the cherry blossoms are blooming once again._

_They are as divine as always and it will be something that I shall miss seeing._

_There will be so much that I'll miss, which is surprising considering the life I have lived but I can honestly say that._

_I watch the words appear, the black ink imprinting into the parchment and attempt to seal it against the corners of my mind in hopes that these subtle joys will be remembered once I pass on._

_I savour the taste of the tea flooding my mouth, the sweet and bitter flavour of the liquid fusing before the rest of my anatomy gets to relish it._

_I inhale the scent of the cherry blossoms as they flutter past me, the delicate & vibrant fragrance landing around like a delicate powder. _

_I capture the vision of the beautiful skies that highlight the village, the lush scenery that my home is surrounded with and the image of animals enjoying the pleasant spring in the distance._

_To think, everything suddenly fell into place when I realised what I needed to do in order to protect those around me._

_To protect her._

_The one thing that makes my heart ache because I'll miss her the most._

_My eyes stray to the vivid violet ribbon around my wrist, which was one I took from her when we ended up breathless against the floor after some teasing and taunts._

_Her wondrous scent lingers on it, making me yearn to see her again for one last time._

_But the last time I saw Yukari was indeed, the last time._

_It was the memory of her that I hope to retain when I am gone from this world._

 

_Why, you may ask?_

_Quite simply; Yukari made the prison that was my life a blessing._

_She sacrificed herself, during every chance she had to come & see me. _

_She took away my loneliness, my sadness, my struggles, my isolation._

_Yukari made me feel human._

_As I write this, it is because of the kindness of a stranger that I, Saigyouji Yuyuko, the cursed girl managed to get a taste of what being human actually felt like._

_I laugh at the hilarity of a youkai like my Yukari being the one to bring a human so much contentment._

_That despite all the terrible tales I've heard in the past of the dreaded and despised youkai, it was that very being who made everyday worth living after we met._

_I feel the world should know how dear she is to me and I'll truly suffer in the afterlife if I cannot remember her._

_All I ask for is her happiness now._

_She has given me that and so much more so it is time that I repay Yukari for the kindness she has covered me in for all of these years._

_I want her to live._

_Being around me is not seeing to that which is why I will end the suffering I am causing her and anyone else that comes near me._

_All I want is Yukari to know how thankful I am for standing by my side for all of these year._

_I truly hope I managed to make her understand that as subtly as I could without alarming her._

_Without letting her know that it would be the last time she would hear my voice._

_The last time she would touch my skin._

_The last time she would hear me say her name._

_The last time we'd sit beneath the trees in the garden together._

_The last time we would be together._

_But despite the sadness that this may emit, I hope I made my last moments on this earth memorable with her._

 

_For tomorrow, my blood will combine with the ground near the Saigyou Ayakashi._

_I'll put an end to this all and my life will be the price but I know it won't be in vain._

_Nothing is considered a waste when protecting Yukari, so, as I write this, know that I am smiling._

_Know that I am happy._

_To the one who lays eyes on this letter, tell the world that I died with a full heart & not a single regret.  _

_Tell Yukari that she should hold no guilt nor sadness, just joy because of the fulfilment she gave me after years of being a shadow left to be forgotten._

_She gave me a reason for living so I am doing the same for her._

_I leave this letter between the pages of my favourite piece of literature that Yukari introduced me to, something I cherish._

_The sentimentality of doing that crosses my mind considering that I am going to leave her._

_I guess I've always been a romantic at heart._

_However, I must part now before I get too carried away and talk myself out of this, out of leaving Yukari._

_For she will never fade from my heart._

 

_Farewell._

_Saigyouji Yuyuko_

 

The words hit you both with such velocity, to an extent where you couldn't recall seeing Yukari appear that ashen. 

There was always a side of your lover that strayed away from wanting to talk about your past and you finally understood now, _finally_ knew why Yukari seemed to be in two places when recounting memories. 

This was an unlocking for you both. 

Something you didn't want to squander from the letter's actual intention so you move back to stare at your lover. 

Yukari's arms snake around your waist, awaiting for whatever you decide to do & you knew she'd do _anything_ you asked of her. 

The woman in the letter, the woman that you are now; Yukari loves you both so you know what action you want to take. 

Taking one of Yukari's hand's in yours, you glance over the letter once more. 

One last time. 

The reasoning for this you can't be sure. 

A part of you hopes the letter will be the last piece to help your dissociated mind discover a cure. 

Then there is another part of you that wants to continue its hold on the life of a woman who couldn't control your abilities and let her blood pour. 

Maybe now you can help her live on, live to the fullest despite the sacrifice she had to make. 

For her own sanity, for Yukari, for you. 

Whatever the reason is, you know you've attained a breakthrough in understanding more of Yukari's personality and thoughts, far more clearly than you could've imagined. 

You also got to taste a part of your life that had been stolen away by time. 

But it was something you now understood & gained a chance to relive the life of a girl that shared the same happiness as you do with the same woman. 

For that, you would be forever grateful to the ghost of a Saigyouji Yuyuko that you never got to meet.


End file.
